One Week Thoughts

I'm sitting on the couch listening to the crickets outside while The Red Green Show is on in the background (the most Minnesotan show, even if it is from Canada). This time next week, I will be writing this to you in England. Most things are taken care of (still need to find that damned diploma), packing is looming (I'm a last minute girl) and the drama of leaving has finally died down. In saying goodbye, I've realized its really been 3 years of goodbyes, both to various aspects of myself that no longer serve me and to people, places and things. Saying goodbye to the place I considered home, saying goodbye to parents marriage, goodbye to the friends I've had since I was 5 because I no longer had anything in common with them, goodbye to childhood as things were sent to Goodwill and the house I grew up in was sold. Even goodbye to my bed and car! As depressing as it can be, I've looked at it as more of a spiritual cleanse. You can hang onto a lot of deep down stuff through the years, clearing things out clears out the negative.

This has been 5 years in the making. I could pinpoint exactly when this passion started. Sometime in 2010, maybe late 2009. I remember wanting to go, and wanting a sign from the universe. I put my iPod on shuffle and out of 2000 songs, this is the one that came on.

To say that I had a mild heart attack would be putting it lightly. But it was all the confirmation I needed. And my passion for all things British increased at a steady pace over the next 5 years. I look at what's to come and to be honest, I haven't allowed myself to think about it much. I'm owning that to the fact I didn't realize how much drama comes with saying goodbye to certain people! Things come out of the woodwork that you didn't plan on. But I have an long haul plane rid to think on it. It is life changing. An opportunity that many either don't or can't take. This will change me in ways I cannot even being to fathom right now. Will I love England as much as I do in my head? What if I somehow don't? I have no plans to come back to America, I will tell you that right now. Maybe I'll end up a permeant resident of the UK (I cannot tell you how hard that task is) or maybe I'll decide a Ph.D in Geneva is a good idea. Who knows. It's an adventure.